introspection
i look at myself, and i don't know if i like what i have become. the self-examination only seems to make it worse. maybe i could write about pain.... deep and everlasting. the kind i see within myself. the kind that pricks through the surface of your soul when you aren't looking. the kind that sends the stake through your heart and makes you swear never to care again.
man has a fascination with pain. everything we do is in the attempt to create or alleviate pain. love causes pain. man has created the idea of love to alleviate the pain of loneliness. i suppose i could even go so far as to say that love is pain. nothing about love does not cause pain in some form or another. ask someone who has lost a loved one. they can tell you of the agony that streaks their soul. ask someone who has been betrayed by a loved one. they can tell you of the misery on fire in their heart. you might say that i am a fool for thinking that love is pain, but i'm a fool who has had my soul burned down to the bare iron core by pain of love. there is no softness left for emotion. i have known love... the all consuming kind where someone is your entire world, and the soft deep kind where you know that you would lay your life on the line for someone. all it has gotten me in this life is pain.
written august 25, 1999
man has a fascination with pain. everything we do is in the attempt to create or alleviate pain. love causes pain. man has created the idea of love to alleviate the pain of loneliness. i suppose i could even go so far as to say that love is pain. nothing about love does not cause pain in some form or another. ask someone who has lost a loved one. they can tell you of the agony that streaks their soul. ask someone who has been betrayed by a loved one. they can tell you of the misery on fire in their heart. you might say that i am a fool for thinking that love is pain, but i'm a fool who has had my soul burned down to the bare iron core by pain of love. there is no softness left for emotion. i have known love... the all consuming kind where someone is your entire world, and the soft deep kind where you know that you would lay your life on the line for someone. all it has gotten me in this life is pain.
written august 25, 1999
posted by manda at 12:10 AM
1 Comments:
That has got to be (with the exception of a few Pablo Neruda poems) one of the saddest things I have ever read. I have been in love a few times and summarily been destroyed by that love, but as god is my witness, I would not trade a moment of it. And the thing that keeps me waking up daily is the idea that there is that forever love, that one that you will get old with and god willing die holding that caring hand. I wish that love on every person I care about in my life.
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