hmmm

i don't really know what to call this one.. it's only a small bit of introspection and news. rob has thought about it (now that i have made contact with everyone in the western universe) and decided that he is not ready to swing. but that is ok. i will just have to be the responsible one and tell everyone to go to hell. as usual.. i get to deal with all the consequences of the decisions. my new job is going well. i love all the animals at petland and wish i could take them all home with me each night.. luckily we don't have any reptiles or scorpions for me to have to work with right now.. that would somewhat diminish my pleasure. our electricity was cut off this week and we had to go stay at a friends house. with no phone, no money, and trying to drive to tyler from flint to work each day.. it was pretty much a nightmare.. oh well. beggars can't be choosers i guess. i don't think i have anything else to say other than i still am thinking that i need time to be myself. the internet was the only place i got to get away from it all and say whatever i felt like.. now that rob doesn't want to swing.. i'm sure he'll expect me to get off the internet .. no reason to chat, now, right?? oh well.. cest la vie..

tied down

tempus fugit

sometimes i don't know what to do with myself.. there are so many people and things pulling me in so many direction. they all want my time and energy, and i feel like i have none left over for myself. there are things I want to do, and i feel guilty for doing them and not spending time or energy on other people who want it. i sometimes feel like i am being punished, although i know not for what. maybe this will subside in time as things in my life relax a little bit. i hope so. this week is so crazy. so many people!! my husband wants my by his side, my best friend wants to talk, the people i have started talking to online ALL want to talk to me at the same time, but that means everyone else is left out. i don't know who i should please.. i know it won't be me. it never is. i just can't leave everyone out in the cold so that i can have some time alone. i don't know how to tell everyone that i have to be me sometimes, and not a function of them. oh well. maybe after this week things will get better. here's hoping. by the by.. we are meeting with that couple tomorrow, and the next day i am getting my clit hood pierced (yay for me!) and i work all week.. and we might go to a swinger party in garland on sat.. so this week is out for anyone who reads this.. but check me later... i love you alll

update

well.. let's see what's going on lately.. rob and i have been posting on swing websites trying to find some couples to play with.. so far things have not been going quite like i planned. there are about a million couples on the internet who are flaky as shit.. have no time and energy to foster even a friendship, and would stand you up if given half a chance. if you read this and are part of a couple or a single female, feel free to check out my profile on swinglifestyle.com. my id is kahlan1227. i have the same id on couplestouch.com. there are a few couples we have met so far that have made things worth it, though.. and so we plan to continue, and in fact are having dinner with a couple this tues.. to see where things go.. i will keep you posted.. wish me luck!!