The cobblestones are rough under my feet and the street lamps cast dark uneven shadows across my path. The alley is deserted, the buildings long since devoid of life. My black cloak flutters in a cold breeze as my boots echo across the night. A bum staggers by in a drunken stupor, but I pay him no mind, for tonight I have a mission....
* 22 years earlier *
"Alaria." I heard my name from the shadows.
"Loius? Is that you??" I turned to see him step out of the darkness and i walked into his arms. "Louis, what took you so long? I've been waiting for an hour already"
"I'm sorry, love, but you know i have to wait until sundown."
"I know... but it's so hard to wait." I smiled and hugged him, revelling in the stolen hours between dusk and dawn. This was the only time I could see him. You see, Louis was a Vampire. He is ages old, but appears about twenty. Sadly, though i appear older than my age, I am only 14.
Louis and I had met in a back alley on a cold autumn night. I had been secretly been out drinking with some friends, and was walking home by myself (i know... not the smartest thing to do, even in 15th century europe). I had stopped at the corner, near a streetlamp, waiting on several men to continue on their way, when i saw movement at the far end of an alley. Naturally curious and with ale-dulled wits, i proceeded into the alley to find the source of the disturbance. The lamp light didn't reach very far, and soon I was in a corner shrouded in darkness.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" I called out. As i watched, a man seemed to materialize out of the shadows, almost as if he were an extension of them. He was striking, with eyes so dark they were almost black - from what the meager light showed - and a pale complexion, untouched by the light of day. He spoke, and upon the first deep resonation of his voice, I knew what he was. A Vampire. The living dead, tortured by hellish inner demons, and forced to drink the blood of all but helpless mortals.
Since I was little, I had been fascinated with the Vampire mythology, and had learned every thing i could find out about the subject (not that that was a lot), and had developed what my parents called an unhealthy obsession with gothic horror and Vampire lore. I had studied the subject intensely, and thought people who did not believe were fools - easy targets for a Vampire. I upheld these beliefs much to the horror of my few friends and family and became a constant source of irritation to them; but the harder they pushed me away from it, the more tantalizing it became.
However, this was the first Vampire that i had ever seen, and I didn't know quite what to say. Should I just ask outright if he was undead? If he wasn't, I could always blame it on the ale, the night, the shadows, anything. I decided to go for the direct approach. I had nothing to lose anyways.
"I know what you are." There was no hesitancy or fear in my voice.
"Yes," he stated calmly. "I've been waiting for you. For the right time." I looked at him in astonishment.
"Waiting for me? I.... I don't understand."
"It's really quite simple. You see, there are very few mortals who believe in us and pursue it so actively as you, and we make it our business to know who they are. You have great potential, you know."
"Potential? For what?" I asked warily.
"For the Embrace, for Becoming. You have many of the necessary traits and knowledges already in you." There was a pause. "However, I refused to Embrace you until you were at least of age -16. I personally find such youthfully Embraced to be clumsy and inexperienced their whole lives, and would wish that on no one... especially not you."
I was speechless. Here was the culmination of all the years of learning, questioning, and believing. There was actually a purpose to my existence, a reason for me. I was to be a Vampire. I knew it - in my heart, in my bones, and in the deepest reaches of my soul. It was there - the need, the want. All this time, I had been searching, and now I had found. I was filled with exhilleration to know that i could be one those dark, beautiful, mysterious people.
"Wait." I said. "I don't even know your name." He smiled, and his teeth gleamed white in the lamplight.
"Louis. Just Louis."
"Well, Louis, I accept your offer. At 16, I wish to be Embraced."
"Alright. Until such time, I shall serve as your guide, and I will teach you all of what you need to know. But I have much to do before the hour of dawn, and I fear I must go. I will return to you again at tomorrow's nightfall. Farewell."
And then he was gone. As swiftly as he had come, he melted back into the shadows, a true creature of the night.
* * * *
As i look back now, I see my naivete, and my blindness, for I missed the dark lust that hid beneath the polished exterior of Louis. But the world moves on, and so do I.....
* * * *
That was the first time I actually met a Vampire, and Louis was true to his word. He stayed with me, and I saw him nearly every night of the two years before I could be Embraced. He taught me many things - some good, some bad, some true, some false, some helpful, some only a beguiling farce - but all very necessary .
There were few memorable occasions during these two years, but I do remember one lesson particularly well....it seems to stick out in my memory. It was the night when I first saw Louis feed.
It was one of those cloudy nights, where the moon and every star in the sky is obscured by blackness. It was near summer, so the air was hot, sticky, and filled with a kind of tension, anticipating an oncoming thunderstorm. There was lightning in the distance, and a low breeze blew hotly.
Louis and I had come into town this night, though I knew not why. Generally the lessons were carried out at Louis's home on the far edge of town. But this night was different. I had questioned the need to be here in town, for I wanted to have my regular lesson, as it was only a few months until my sixteenth birthday and my embrace. We stopped at a tavern, and stood in the doorway, surveying the room. Louis selected a man sitting alone in a corner, drowning his sorrows in a mug of ale.
"That one." He said.
Although I didn't know what he meant, I followed anyway, obeying my future sire. We stopped at the man's table. He was obviously drunk, but trying to hide it.
"W-won't you join me?" he asked with a grin and a slur. Despite my reluctance, I slid into a seat by Louis, across from the man.
As we talked to him, we learned that he had just lost his wife, so Louis offered to buy him another mug of ale.... or two... or three. However many the man ended up having, by the time our little trio staggered out the door, he was very close to passing out. The man had very little wits left, and did not protest when we took a turn into a dead end alley. Although I knew something was wrong, I said nothing. Suddenly the man seemed to become aware, if only for a brief moment, of what was happening.
"Hey! This is a --" but he never got to finish that sentence as Louis delivered a sharp quick blow to the back of the man's head. He crumpled like a rag doll at our feet. Finally I found the courage to speak.
"Louis! What the hell is going on?" I demanded.
"It is time you learned what it means to feed, Alaria. He used my soon to be Vampire name. I could only watch in silent horror as the my beloved Louis sank his fangs into the neck of the young man, draining his life's blood.
He did not kill the man, but left him sleeping peacefully on the hard cobblestones. Louis was was completely drunk now, and I was repulsed. Although I had heard about it, and imagined it, it had never been quite this vividly, bloodily real. I immediately began to have second thoughts about my Embrace. But I said nothing. I silently returned home, and Louis disappeared into the night.
The next night, when i saw him, he told me, "Alaria, I know you don't fully understand what happened last night, and why it is beautiful to us, but you will once you have been Embraced."
I stared mutely at him, not knowing what to say.
"Don't worry, Louis.... I'll have no regrets."
* * * *
My sixteenth birthday - I stepped into Louis's house, a half hour after sundown, as usual. But tonight would be anything but routine. Tonight I would become a Vampire. Louis had told me that it would take at least all night and probably part of the next one, so I had packed my belongings beforehand, as I saw no reason to go back to my parents house after my Embrace. Normally I just sneaked back in before dawn, but I had the feeling that tonight would be both an ending and a beginning.
The first thing Louis did was tell me exactly what was going to happen, and why he must do it. In order for me to become a Vampire, he must first drain every bit of life blood from my body, and so my human form would die. Then he would slit his wrist and pour the blood into my mouth. Although I was nervous, I was also excited, and I knew that my Embrace would be the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.
To describe the actual Embrace would be to attempt to paint a picture of hell, both living and in death. I recieved my own inner demons that i would spend the rest of my unlife trying to evict. I gained an unearthly bloodlust. I lost my humanity. I died.
When I awoke, I seemed to be in that shadowy place between sleeping and dreaming. I knew that I was awake, but not really alive. The only thing I really felt was dead. I was tired and drained, but possessed a hunger for some unnameable thing. I had become a Vampire.
* * * *
The next several years of my life were tumultuous at best. I don't remember very much from the years ensuing my Embrace, for Becoming does strange things to one's memories - makes them foggy, slow, and hard to retain. There are a few gems that I was able to keep throughout the years, and I will try my best to tell you of them.
TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>
written may 17, 2000
